No More Decisions

When we had our baby girl,  I suddenly realized how many decisions I'd face daily in taking care of her, even from her first day of life. That was something I hadn't considered until she was here. 

Even as early as my third trimester, I was thinking ahead to the next baby. :) Beginning a bit later in life, we both feel there's no time to waste. Even so, I want time to stand still so I can enjoy and savor each day with this baby before another comes along. 

From one day to the next, I vacillate, wanting another baby as soon as the Lord will bless us with one and then wanting to dig my heels in to say no more babies. It's a strange thing to go through right now because I know each child God gives is a blessing, a gift, so why not welcome each and every one He will give as quickly as He will provide another? 

Then, I look at this sweet baby girl and selfishly, I want to keep our special little bond and tiny world here at home as long as possible. Another little one would draw my attention away and there's no doubt I'd begin missing things. I'm scattered enough as it is without another little one drawing me away. 

What helps me as my thoughts wander, thinking about what I want and what may happen in the future, it gives me peace to know the decision is not up to me. God always chooses when and to whom He will bring life. I can trust Him to bring another baby into our lives if and when it is for our good. In the meantime, I'm making the most of the days Maddy and I have together, undistracted. 

Her first snow!

Cast Off

Today is the day for Matt to have his cast removed. Yay! We find out for sure with another X-ray. 

Even though I'm a fan of the color (K-State purple), we welcome the next step: A splint. At least it is removable and indicates healing is happening. 

In the time since his injury, you can hardly tell it's slowed him down. At first, he asked me to do a hand full of things either because he hadn't figured out how to effectively manipulate to do it himself or it was just faster for me to help. Now, he does everything himself and seems to do so effortlessly. 

The biggest hindrance for him has been picking up and carrying Maddy. He's still made it a priority to get in quality time, even if I need to hand her to him on occasion or get her situated in a good position on him. 

This pic was taken when he was wearing his temporary cast. 

These days, Maddy likes to scratch everything. It may be my fault for letting her fingernails grow too long, but she likes to scratch everything nonetheless. She gave a look of astonishment when she tried scratching her Daddy's cast. I think to that point, his cast is the hardest thing she attempted to scratch and it surprised her. It is fun to watch her explore her little world. Let's see how she likes his splint...

A New Challenge or Two

This is definitely not a season in which I feel there's any "extra" time. It seems daunting to set goals and find time to do anything other than care for our daughter and barely partially keep up with the house. Yet, sometimes I find myself feeling inspired. 

There are many good things to do and I desire to keep a balance in life. It's something I keep coming back to over and over: to daily challenge myself spiritually, physically, and mentally. My spiritual challenge is to love God and love people well each day, spending quality time with them and serving them. 

My physical challenge has been walking up and down the stairs taking care of the baby and home. Sadly that's not enough. In a few short days I will join a gym. I attended two prep courses toward securing a membership and now it's time to get the ball rolling. 

My mental challenge has been trying to remember to add things to the grocery list and to remember...well...anything important. :) This year, I'm attempting to read books off my reading list. I think reading a little every night before bed will be a good routine for me, but also I hope to designate one night a week as reading night. Since we enjoy t.v. in this house, it would be a nice change to sit and read instead. (We have lots of books for the baby too.) 

This is one of the first books I hope to read: 

This one is for Maddy :)

I wish I could say this is all I have planned for my new daily challenges, but alas, I'm trying to start healthier eating habits too. After all, eating right is 80% of the battle. 

As time goes on, I hope to elaborate more on my plans and progress in these areas. No; these are not New Year's resolutions. I'm a compulsive reflector and evaluator.

At any time, the result of my self-reflection can be a new list of personal goals. My hope is that striving to meet these goals will help me maintain a proper balance in different areas of life. 

Reflections upon 2014

As much as I'd like to deny it, my 2014 was completely defined by eagerly anticipating the arrival of, giving birth to, and enjoying our baby girl. It was a year well-spent. 

I am utterly amazed by the wonder of this little girl. 

These are two of our first pictures of our baby girl. :)

God is magnificently intricate in the design of His creation. Much of my time is spent studying her as she learns and discovers and grows and expresses new aspects of her personality.

This experience has drastically changed my perspective in several ways. One of them is how I look at illness/disease. Formerly, I thought disease and illness of any significance or permanent consequence should be rare. My belief, whether a conscious thought or not, was that the norm for life is healthiness. 

As I gaze at my little girl and think of all her inward parts, it amazes me how on earth she could be healthy. It occurred to me only in motherhood that even her health and wholeness is miraculous. I always considered the beginning of life a miracle, but now it strikes me as a second miracle that everything in her formed properly. 

So far, I have not lost that sense of awe...it's still a daily occurrence that I see something about her that makes me revel in her presence and leads me to be so thankful for this precious gift God has given us. If you've ever asked me how she is doing, now you know why my answer is: "She is amazing." 

Good News :)