Wondering Why

Since I was very young, I've always enjoyed giving gifts. It's not about how the person responds. There's just great joy in the giving.

Doing something for someone that is not expected. Something that is extra, just because. It doesn't have to be someone especially close, but if it is for someone particularly close the gifts get bigger :) 

It's not something I've ever given much thought: the why of it. It's just something I do. Giving is just deeply intertwined as a part of who I am.

What I've noticed though, over the years, are some of the atypical reactions I've received. Almost always, I receive a smile and a thank you or a phone call when given at a distance, but sometimes people surprise me. Looking back, I remember one person accusing me of having an ulterior motive for giving. And yes, I was shocked. Fortunately, it wasn't right after I gave the gift, but rather much later. :) Recently, a gift made such an impact, Matt and I both received profuse thankfulness from the couple. Undoubtedly, those two extremes have been rare, but I treasure the spirit of gratitude from the couple, how well it speaks of them and who they are. How grateful I am even for the accusation, for it revealed the heart of the accuser.

So after all of these years, why am I just now stopping to take stock of "why?"

Recently, three new babies were born in the same week at our church. Yes, three in one week! Of all the things I get excited about the most in life, seeing godly people marry and seeing babies born to Christians top the chart. So, what did I do? Made a meal for two of those families (the third is not in regular contact with Matt or me at church, but we know and like them too) and bought a baby gift for each family.

The tiny gift in front is a pre-shower gift :). One of the babies was born prematurely and the shower had to be rescheduled. I couldn't wait to give her something, so she gets a pre-shower gift for her baby and one at the shower. I think I'm an addict. :-/

As I was putting together these gifts, I began doing a self-check asking myself why, asking if I know why I'm prone to buying so many gifts for others. It occurred to me, since the "accuser" I mentioned was a minister, of all things, that the people around me at church (who are mostly staff members/ministers) may begin to wonder about my motives as well. I don't give "in front of people" like those in the early church were warned not to do when giving their tithes and offerings, but Facebook and how far we live from the church seems to contribute to more being aware. By that I mean, I give the gifts when I see people at church or after ladies Bible study because I'm already in the area to see people. I usually don't make extra trips except when someone is in the hospital. We live 45 minutes away.

So, I thought if that earlier experience of being accused by a minister triggered a question in my mind of whether or not that may cross the minds of the people I'm around now, then I suppose I should check myself. As I considered it, these are some of the reasons why. I give because I like the person and want good things for her. I give because I'm excited for her and the new blessing (marriage, baby or house). I give because I think it will meet a need that may not otherwise be met. I give to be an encouragement to others. I give because I have it to give (I've been blessed). I give because I believe we are a real family as Christians and we have some responsibility to one another (check out Acts). I give because I think it's right, the right thing to do, because it is a good thing (To him who knows to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin. James 4:17). I give because I prayed for years God would bless me financially so I can always give abundantly and prayed my husband would be a giver too...and he is!! So I sure better be giving!!

As I think about that accusation, I knew it wasn't true of me at the time, but even now I laugh a bit because I can't remember one time I got anything from what I gave. Not tangibly or intangibly from the person. If I gave to a friend, true friendship already existed and continued on in the natural course of life. The gift didn't affect the relationship at all, except that it was a blessing and hopefully an encouragement to the friend. There are other ways to encourage our friends so a gift isn't necessary to accomplish that. It was just my choice of what means to encourage at the time. If the person was an acquaintance, an acquaintance she remained. If the person appeared to be a friend, but was not, it was eventually made known and we parted ways. In human terms, gift-giving is a losing proposition.

Fortunately, God blesses giving. From God I've been blessed as I've given. It feels good to me on the inside when I give to bless others and I've never, ever, ever regretted giving a gift. Not even one given to my accuser (although there have been no new gifts...I may be generous, but I'm not a fool ;). I do believe that God is answering those many prayers for financial resources because He wants me to bless others with what we have been given. So tangibly and intangibly, God has given to me greatly as I've given to others.

This may sound silly, especially if you can't relate, but I guess one more answer as to why I give is that it's fun! It really is fun to give.