Forgiven

This is one of the books I've been reading lately: 

While reading last night, the topic for the section was forgiveness. I don't think I've ever read anyone speak about forgiveness quite the way the author of this book does. 

Tripp says we make a vertical commitment and a horizontal transaction when we forgive. Forgiveness, he says, "begins by giving the offense to the Lord. You entrust yourself to God's mercy and justice, and you give yourself to overcoming evil with good." That is the vertical commitment. He adds that "the Bible actually calls the one who has been sinned against to go to the person who committed the offense and present him with it." That is the horizontal transaction. 

He explains that it's not good for you or the other person "to act as if a sin committed against you is all right." He continues, saying, "When we fail to bring such things into the light, they fester in the dark of our own sinful heart, and the other does not benefit from the conviction and confession that would help him grow and change." 

One of the principles I try to live by is: "Always speak to someone at least once to give him or her the opportunity to change." We all have blind spots and we're better at seeing other people's faults. Knowing I'd rather someone talk to me about an issue (so I'd have an opportunity to change and make things right) rather than cause division in the relationship, I strive to offer others the same courtesy. 

It's easier to establish principles to live by than it is to apply them consistently. Tripp's words on forgiveness are a timely reminder. 

In order to build up a relationship (whether in marriage or with family and friends), we need to handle it God's way. His way for closeness in any relationship requires traveling down the path of forgiveness and reconciliation. 

Tripp says that whether we realize it or not, our tendency to keep our mouths shut on an issue is more for our own self-protection than for consideration of another person's feelings. In my opinion, speaking to someone with grace and truth about an offense is the best way to express that he or she is worth the effort.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  - Colossians 3:12-13

Laughing At Myself

In all of these months, I find it funny that I haven't thought to make taco salad for dinner. I know Matt loves Mexican food and some of his favorite meals he cooked for himself included tacos and taco salad. 

Since we've been married, I have cooked fajitas, tacos and enchiladas so I haven't completely ignored his penchant for Mexican food. Fortunately, that is something we have in common. 

Last week after our ladies Bible study at church, a friend mentioned that she makes some variation of taco salad once or twice a week. They love it that much. Her comment inspired me to make taco salad for Matt. 

Earlier this week, Matt decided he wanted to go to the gym after he came home from work and invited me along. Of course I was pleased to go with him. Taco salad would be a good quick meal to make upon our return.

Let me just say, the light in Matt's eye and the smile on his face upon seeing the completed meal has convinced me to make this meal regularly. We both enjoyed this simple dinner immensely. 

I love simple wins.

Discipline, Part 1

A spiritual virtue. A constant challenge. 

There are so many things on my list of things to do it is hard to know where to begin. So many times, I chart out a plan in my Franklin Covey planner and find I've set the bar too high. 

Friday was one of those days. I hoped to clean out the car, emptying it of all the contents, vacuuming the inside, wiping down the dash and washing the outside. With my major project (which shall remain nameless) appearing almost finished after working on it all afternoon on Thursday, I was sure I'd finish Friday morning and move on to the other tasks on my list. Have I told you that everything I plan to do takes longer than expected?

I worked again all day on Friday before it was finished, but it sure was nice to be done...with the first half anyway. :) 

On Saturday, Matt went in to work early and worked a full day (an infrequent occurrence). With Matt out of the house, I determined to make up for the "loss" of Friday by working on my tasks planned for Friday. 

I emptied the car, vacuumed it out quite well and washed it. Unfortunately, the other tasks on my list were completed first and took up the morning and part of the afternoon. By the time I finished the car, Matt arrived home. By then, I was back to work on the second half of my project (taking a break from working on the car) and had no idea so much time had passed. He took me completely by surprise even though he arrived on time. 

Sunday morning I finished vacuuming the car mats and cleaning them with carpet cleaner. I sorted through the items taken from the car to decide what had to go back (like insurance card, registration and the like). I felt pretty good about the car when we headed out for church until I noticed...it had a new coat of pollen. :-/

Nonetheless, my Franklin Covey is helping me stay on track with all that needs to be done. It has become one of my favorite things.

Something Old, Something New

The first visit on our whirlwind trip through the mid-South was with our old friends, Katrina Morris and Nick Baggott. 

Katrina and I share an affinity for Abuelos, so we conspired to drag our men along to eat some fancy Mexican fare. Nick and Katrina love playing games, so Katrina suggested we go bowling afterward. Matt and I enjoy bowling (a somewhat common choice for us with our group of single friends), but we hadn't been in ages. We were on board. 

We had a great time, even though I bowled worse than I have in years! Admittedly, they threw us off a bit when they switched to cosmic bowling in the middle of the afternoon. :)

We enjoyed hanging out with old friends, feeling as comfortable and at home with them as we ever did, yet there was one difference. Katrina and Nick have been dating for a while. It was neat to see how natural and comfortable it felt going out as two couples rather than simply as four friends. 

It was something old and something new and it was fun!

Project Runway

Lately, I must admit, I've been catching an episode of Project Runway here and there. If you're not familiar with it, the show is a competition for up-and-coming fashion designers. They have a design challenge each week and at the end, the judges score each person's outfit. The one with the lowest score is off of the show. 

With my new sewing machine beckoning me to make something, I've been watching the show from a different perspective. I can't say I've seen anything yet that I'd want to replicate, but it's more the process of creating that I've been interested in as I've watched. The show has helped me build confidence for designing some things on my own.

Before buying the sewing machine, I'd already spent some of my Christmas money on some basic patterns. At the time, I had in mind buying a few simple patterns that I could adapt. While on polyvore, I also navigated some websites and found a designer outfit I loved. Hoping to replicate it at some point, I kept in mind the kind of material used and the overall look. 

After a dose of inspiration from Project Runway, some basic patterns and the designer outfit, I've come up with a design for a 2 piece dress. After a trip to the fabric store and Michael's, I have what I need to begin. Fabric, ribbon, patterns to adapt and a basic sketch of the dress. Admittedly, I need to make a return trip for the notions, but I had to finish the design before knowing what to buy. 

Yesterday, I spent a good portion of the day working through my initial sketch for the dress. Before I'm finished, no doubt there will be other changes.

Let's face it, I'm not nor will I ever be the most fashion-forward person. As Matt says, I have my own style.

With a family wedding coming up, I hope to finish this dress in the next month so I can wear it then. My aim is to please an audience of one. As long as Matt approves, I'll consider this one a success.

A Little Perspective

As I've confessed before, I like to eat. Unfortunately, I tend to overeat. Added to that, I'm not too crazy about exercise. In order to be healthy, I have to force myself to get out and move. 

There have been certain times in life when I've had continually on my mind the need to make a lifestyle change. Eat less. Exercise more and regularly.

When those thoughts nag at me the most, to get on a plan and dedicate myself to this daily discipline, I hear myself whining in my spirit. Why are the best tasting foods the most fattening? Why is the healthy stuff so bland? Why do the healthier foods cost more? Why is it so hard to work off the weight? Why didn't God make us where we could consume more calories without gaining weight? Whine. Whine. Whine. 

Then I had a little wake up call. It occurred to me that if God made us to be able to consume more without it going to the hips, we'd need more food at each meal to sustain our life. If we need more food at each meal to sustain our life, then many more people around the world would be dying of starvation each day. Most people in the world have much less food available to them each day. The very fact that we require a small amount of food to sustain life each day is a blessing of the Lord...and I was whining about it.

A little perspective is a good thing for the attitude and for motivation.

A Little Lax

There is so much I could write about during this season that there's no excuse for missing so many days of writing. Usually when I'll be out of town, I plan ahead and write enough posts to get through the trip. Lately though, I find I'm going in a hundred directions and the distractions are keeping me from spending the time to write. 

The last three or four days I've been completely immersed in a project I'm working on for a gift. As Matt leaned over to see my work, he commented saying, "You're a creative genius." I was so taken aback that I spun around to look him in the eyes (The only way to know if he was being serious.). How sweet to hear such complementary words from my husband. I love how he loves me.

Getting Started

My first project was to hem Matt's suit pants. A while ago Matt said he wanted a new suit...maybe a navy suit. I found one on sale at Neiman Marcus in the fall and bought it. It was exciting to find one on the sale rack with his coat and waist sizes. The only catch was the pants needed to be hemmed to the proper length.

Since he wasn't in a hurry to wear the suit for any particular occasion, it has hung in his closet ever since. The timing of buying the sewing machine was perfect. I read some instructions for blind hem stitching and had my first run with the new machine. All in all it went well. 

The only hitch: we found that the pants needed a little more work than a simple hemming to fit the bill. He wore his gray suit on Easter Sunday instead and I'm still working on project 1 with my new machine. 

Afraid I wouldn't have the patience to be consistent with my new sewing hobby, I hesitated to put this machine on the Christmas gift list. After running into a couple of challenging and unanticipated situations with the first sewing project, I see that perseverance will pay off. I look forward to seeing the results of this first effort.

7 Things

Lately I've been using my planner more often in an attempt to improve productivity. There are certain tasks I aim to do every day and others that I list as extra tasks to be completed.

One goal set as an everyday thing is to read something outside of the Bible. As well-meaning as I may be, it doesn't always happen, but it has happened much more often since I've recorded my goal and look at it daily. 

This is the book I completed a few weeks ago: 

 7 Things He'll Never Tell You, but you need to know

I found this book to be helpful and insightful in some ways, but it is poorly organized. The editor should have done better to improve the overall structure of this work.

One indicator of the structural problems was that I doubted upon completion of the book what 7 things I had learned about "him" that he'd never tell me himself. In order to better grasp and retain some of the good thoughts, I've already spent a little time reviewing what I underlined as I read it.

Here's my attempt at listing the 7 things:
1. Men run out of words before they get home at the end of the day. 

If he has just walked in from work, is watching t.v. or reading a magazine or newspaper, take those as signs he needs space to unwind. Choose your time carefully for when you want to talk. Then, touch him on the arm first to be sure you have his attention.

2. They never really do grow up. 

They are wired to be number 1. All other things pale in comparison, so he often has a single focus that prevents him from remembering what is important to his wife. Don't take it personally.

3. Things are what register highest on a man's scale.

That's why he'd rather stay home and putter around the garage than go to a social event. It is important to understand that a woman defines herself around a man, but a man doesn't define himself around a woman. If you don't understand that key difference, your feelings will be continually hurt. Just because we enjoy something, that doesn't mean our husband has to do it too.

4. Men don't like to admit it, but they are as emotionally fragile as Humpty Dumpty. 

It hurts him deeply when your attention is diverted from him and on to other things. He asks himself things like: If you don't need me, if others can replace me, why am I beating my head against the wall? Why do I spend 10 hours a day at work? travel so much? eat bad food? drive over an hour each way to get back and forth from work? If you want your husband to love your kids and not see them as competition for your time, you have to find time for just the two of you.

5. Young eyes may be reading this, so I won't specifically address the fifth thing. You can deduce what the topic is for this point.

Since I just laughed out loud about it, I must relate this little tidbit before moving on to the sixth thing. The author includes a top ten list of how you know when the Honeymoon is over. I liked his number one way: He no longer dances for you when he gets out of the shower. 

6. He needs you to honor him (show courteous regard for him). 

Part of honoring him means honoring his opinions and views. Be careful not to demand his presence with you when there is somewhere you want to go or something you want to do. Ask him and then take him at his word. This may require fighting against a strong desire of your own to have him with you.  

Two more rules of thumb the author mentions are: 1. Don't discuss your husband with your girlfriends (he detests it), unless you speak very highly of him and 2. Let him claim "your stuff" (it's a symbol of respect to him), especially in the area of food. Ha! Who knew?!

7. Longing to be your hero is what drives your man. 

He needs to be your hero. He doesn't want a helpless woman; he wants a capable woman with a sense of independence and self-sufficiency, yet is still vulnerable and needs rescuing every once in a while. He needs you to depend on him. He craves your respect and admiration. If you follow through on meeting his basic needs and fill his love tank, he'll be the happiest man on the planet.

The author points out three basic needs of men: 1. To be Respected, 2. To be Needed and 3. To be Fulfilled. If a wife learns how to meet these three needs, Dr. Leman contends she will have a happy husband who is not only willing, but also eager to help her. How refreshing.

Home Sweet Home

Matt saw a different side of me over the weekend. It was our first trip to Memphis since our wedding and I was a wee bit excited. From the first moment I saw my parents at the airport to the last moment when they dropped us off, I don't think I took a breath as I prattled on and on and on. 

You see, I've known from reading all of those marriage books that one of the best things for our marriage is for me to be quiet most of the time. :) This is not my nature. I talk. Not just like the typical woman, but I could win awards (if talking constantly was something anyone on the planet would care to award). 

My sweet husband probably thought all of that chatter was simply an anomaly. That I was excited to be home, missed everyone, had lots to catch up on and so naturally, I talked. Although that assessment would have been accurate in large part, I'd say that was more reasonably the cause of the lack of restraint I'd employed since we were married. 

May all who pass along the way beware: The chatter bug within me still lives.

Missed Too

A few posts ago, I mentioned Matt's work trip and how he knew I missed him while he was gone. (I practically smothered him!). What I didn't tell you is how I knew he missed me. 

Normally we eat dinner in the man-cave, an extra bedroom we use as Matt's office and t.v. room. Since we decided to grill for dinner, Matt stayed downstairs while we prepared our meal. When it was ready, he decided we'd stay in the den to eat dinner. I squeezed next to him on the loveseat; we prayed the blessing and ate. 

The t.v. was on and normally Matt gets in his t.v. mode. His focus stays on the program and eating dinner. This time, I was watching t.v. while I ate and suddenly noticed he had turned to look at me. I looked at him to find out what was on his mind and even though he was gazing at my face, he didn't seem to notice I was looking back at him. He just kept gazing, then seemed to snap out of it and turned back toward the t.v. 

A moment later, the same scenario played out again. Although it doesn't happen often, I've seen him do this before. Each time I find it funny that he doesn't seem to realize what he's doing or how intensely he's looking at me. 

When I see him gazing at me instead of the t.v., that's how I know he missed me. :)

I'm glad he missed me too.

Christmas All Year

Matt and I were a little slow to celebrate Christmas together this year. You may remember it was the end of January before we stopped to enjoy a special meal and exchange gifts. 

One of Matt's gifts to me was a new sewing machine! I was so excited!

BUT it was the last week of March before I bought it. It is such a big purchase I needed to do some research to figure out what to get. No worries though, I have it now!

This is my new machine: 

It is a Brother sewing and embroidery machine. The manual is large, so I will be reading it for a while to learn all the details before starting my first project. I'm eager to see how things shape up (since I'm a novice), but I'm also a little nervous. May all my sewing ventures be rewarding in the end. :)

Taste of Home

For a Christmas gift, my mom gave me a subscription to Taste of Home magazine. What a great gift! I love the magazine because I've found some good recipes in there over the years of perusing my Mom's copies (and my copies from one year she bought me a subscription before).

This is the issue I recently received...

and it was quite timely. You see, I had just thawed a pound of shrimp to make Bang Bang Shrimp and grew impatient while breading all of it. (In a pound, there are a lot of medium sized shrimp.) After breading about half of it, I decided to put the rest in a baggie in the frig. 

Sadly, I'm not the best at remembering to use items (like fresh produce or thawed meat) quickly enough. Fortunately, I picked up my new magazine and flipped through it looking at all the recipes the morning after the raw shrimp went in the frig. 

That's when I found this: 

It's a Southwestern shrimp bisque. I was thrilled to find I already had all of the ingredients. 

While Matt was out of town, I made this for my lunch: 

I must say, it was fabulous! The only thing I didn't have was the avocado that is an optional garnish. I didn't feel a thing was missed without it. The flavor was top notch. I was pleased to have enough leftover for another meal.

Next time, I may dare making it for Matt. He usually likes meals with more substance, but I think this one is so good it's worth testing it out on him...especially if I make the Cheddar Biscuits to go with it :)

All-In-One

Lately, I've really enjoyed coming up with 'skillet meals' as Matt calls them. They're the kind of dish that includes the food (meat, veggies, grains) all in one. 

Recently a friend who enjoys cooking shared a simple recipe with me for making stir-fry. I adapted it a bit based on the ingredients I had, but I think it turned out pretty well.

This is what I came up with: 

Tasty Beef Stir Fry

TIME: Prep: 25 min. Cook: 25 min.

Ingredients:

• 1 pkg. steak
• 1/8 cup teriyaki sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper (cayenne)
• 1/4 teaspoon all-purpose seasoning
• 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1/2 orange bell pepper, chopped
• 2 carrots, sliced thin
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• Salt and pepper to taste (careful not to add too much salt since Teriyaki sauce is salty)

Directions:

Slice beef into small strips.

Heat oil in a wok or frying pan over medium high heat. Brown beef and remove. Add carrots to pan until slightly cooked. Add remaining veggies, all seasonings and teriyaki sauce. Stir and cook continuously until vegetables are done, about five to ten minutes. Return beef to pan until heated through. Serve over white rice. Yield: 2 servings.

Note: Cook white rice in microwave cooker. 1 cup of rice to 2 cups of beef broth.

This turned out to be a nice all-in-one and I'll be adding it to my meal plan. Matt's reaction: "I'm diggin' this." :) 

Be sure to let me know if you try it, especially if you find a way to improve upon it!

New Sights

Our first trip across the Bay Bridge:

Our final destination, the beach in Delaware. 

It was a beautiful day. It was a great adventure. We enjoyed new sights.

Sight and Sound

One of the first places Matt and I were recommended to visit when we first made friends at Rosedale was Sight and Sound. We were told the trip to Pennsylvania is worth it to see a top notch theatrical production of Scripture. 

Around Christmas time, they have a production of the Christmas story but throughout the year they have shows depicting the events of other Bible books or characters. Some friends of ours went last summer to see Joseph and said it was so good they took family to see it again when they visited. 

We had to wait a while to have a weekend free to make the trip, but by the time we were ready we found out the church would be taking a group. Even better. We paid for our tickets at church and road the bus with other members. It was nice to talk with my friend Micah on the way up (Boy, did the time fly. We were having fun.). We ate at a fabulous all-you-can-eat buffet style restaurant for dinner and arrived at the theater with a little time to spare.

The show we went to see was Jonah. 

I was impressed to see the building when we arrived. 

We had just enough time to get a shot outside before finding our seat in the theater:

My hair looks a bit wispier than I realized :(

In the theater before showtime. 

They do not allow pictures to be taken in the theater; however, I received this admonition to mean we were not to take pictures of the interior of the theater (not only to avoid a disturbance during the show, but to avoid capturing pics of the set and staging). Thus, we quickly snapped a picture of ourselves with fellow attendees in the background. No theater secrets slipped out with us! :)

It was a phenomenal show of Jonah and we had a wonderful time taking in all of it. In fact, Matt told me the next morning that with the story still on his mind and heart he reread the book during his quiet time. For those of you who are wondering, Matt testifies to it's accuracy to the biblical text...at least as far as the characters' lines go. 

For those of you who live in parts farther South, don't despair. They have a theater in Branson, MO. They'll be running the show Joseph from April to December. Check it out!

Butterfly Baby

One of my new friends married her husband a few weeks before Matt and I were married. Her name is Stefani. She and her husband Shane had their first child on March 25. They couldn't be more excited about their baby girl. 

Stefani and I at her baby shower (less than 24 hours before she gave birth!)

Our friend Hannah helped with the shower (making the decorations) and asked me to help. She came up with a beautiful design inspired by the bedding and a wall feature Stefani chose for the nursery. 

The ideas Hannah came up with are impressive. She came up with a lot of ways to make the room look wonderful with little out-of-pocket cost. She recruited me to help. 

Here are a few butterfly frames we made: 

Using nothing but this: 

Using Stefani's colors, a little wire, mod podge, tissue paper, glitter and rhinestones, the butterflies added a nice touch to the handmade invitations for her shower.

Many more butterflies in a variety of sizes adorned the room used for Stefani's baby shower. This is the final result:  

 Some of the worker-bees who helped put it all together

 The seat of honor, well before all the gifts arrived.

 

I never would have come up with this idea myself, but I can definitely say I'm learning from my very talented and creative friend Hannah.

Absence Makes the Heart...

Matt rarely travels for business, but this week was his second brief trip since our wedding. He knew about the first trip before we were married and I quickly suggested I go with him to take in the sights over the weekend. That trip was in New Orleans and we had fun. 

This trip was in Pennsylvania and it was in the middle of the week. We plan to check out Amish country at some point, but the timing of this trip didn't work for me to tag along. I missed him. A. LOT. 

Although I admit my family may see this as simply reverting back to old habits, it was more than that. Whenever it came time to go to bed, I put it off. The first night I went to bed around 2 a.m. or so (but don't worry I got up at my normal time so it didn't affect my day). 

When I slid into bed, I didn't like having the spot next to me empty. He was not where he belongs.

The second night I worked on things around the house until the wee hours of the morning (If I sat still I probably would have fallen asleep). I finally went to bed and slept for a couple of hours, but felt the same as I had before.

The third night when Matt came home, he was a sight for sore eyes. After about 30 minutes of clingyness on my part, I cautioned him that I may be a little overwhelming with my affection (understatement of the century) since I'd missed him so much. He was facing the t.v. at the time, but I saw that wonderful smile cross his face, ear to ear. I think he knew I missed him ;)

We are better together