Parenthood

The first time I tuned into Parenthood on Netflix, I was not impressed. Watching the first few episodes was like watching a train wreck. I wasn't sure if I could stand it much longer, but then it changed. Little by little, it became a favorite show to this family drama junkie.

Even though I'm only part way into season 2, I almost don't want to catch up to the current season because the pace of following the story will slow down. All I can say at this point is the show has me laughing and crying. That's a good thing.

I must admit, it's almost been cathartic for me as I watch a family full of life, full with children, full of interconnectedness. In a way, it represents what I've longed for since I was a little girl...not the dysfunctional parts of it, of course ;)...but the community of family. 

I've come to realize my dream for a large family stems from a desire for a community of family. Something I had with my parents and sister, but bigger. The desire...It's real. It's honest. It evades me. 

It occurs to me though, that God may intend for that desire to be met within the church...a community of family. These are just first thoughts, so we'll see what comes of it with time.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the experience of watching in on the Bravermans. It's a good thing.

The Difference

In the beginning, he was interested more in keeping my attention than he was in playing with the toy.

 

Now, he's learned how fun it is and focuses his attention on playing.

What a difference a few weeks makes! It's fun having a ringside seat to the ways he's growing and changing.

Miracle Baby

Our friends Nick and Katrina didn't feel "ready" to have a baby too soon after they were married, but decided to let God decide on the timing. When it didn't happen instantly, some concern mounted...some doctor visits happened...some tests were run...some bad news came.

On a visit home last Spring, we talked babies because we all want them and my sweet friend told me they may never be able to have children. Heartbreaking.

The next thing I knew, Matt and I were back home and sitting in our living room when we received simultaneous calls to our cell phones from them. With one glance, I said, "They're expecting!" (We received simultaneous calls the night they were engaged too. :)...and for the record, Trina, we expect such courtesy with each major life event...the bar has been set, my friend ;).

We talked to them a few minutes and I couldn't help being shocked, stunned and nearly speechless. Considering our loss the previous Fall, it may have seemed the less-than-excited response one hopes for from a friend, but that wasn't it at all. It just was surreal!

This week roughly marks the midpoint of her pregnancy and it's ultrasound week!!! Boy or Girl?!??!?! I CAN'T WAIT to find... #hearsphoneringing #bebacklater;)

Congratulations, Nick and Katrina!

Your little miracle is well on the way!

Time to Think

Introverted. Serious Minded. Deep Thinking. Self-reflective. Affected Deeply.

These are a few of the words I use to describe myself and my ways. Often, I need time alone to think. To let the weighty thoughts roll around in my mind. To let them settle in for the night before I attempt to grasp for sleep through the night.

No. There's nothing wrong. Nothing particularly bothers me when this need for time to think strikes. There's a craving for the silence and stillness of the night, for time alone to let the day and the week settle, for a readiness to come to call it a day.

Though I'm not explaining it well, there have been many, many nights in the past that I've stayed up all hours into the night. I don't suffer from insomnia; I'm not having a bad day or even working through problems or issues or reviewing experiences from the day.

Maybe saying there's a need for time to think isn't exactly accurate. There's not a lot in the way of conscious thought going on during these times. It's more of a response to a weightiness that leads me to engage in mindless activities for a while longer. Time to wind down from the fullness of the day.

I'm not sure anyone can relate. Most people I know crave their sleep. Once I settle in for the night, sleep is something I enjoy immensely as well. :) Some nights, I simply need time to think. 

Reposted pic from an earlier entry -- thinking of you, Trina, as I put this back up :)

Ideas and the Ideal

As many a girl does, I grew up with all kinds of hopes and dreams for my married life. Although marriage didn't happen for me as early as I expected, most of my hopes and dreams have been or are being fulfilled with Matt. One hold out, of course, is children. That hasn't happened yet, but c'est la vie.

The other characteristic, so to speak, of married life that I haven't seen come to fruition yet is our social-home life. You see, I always had this image of our home as being full with friends and family, constantly. The idea of welcoming loved ones into our home regularly always struck me as ideal. It was an important part of establishing the kind of home life I thought I wanted.

Starting out living 45 minutes away from our church and that far or farther from our friends hindered our hope of having them in our home routinely. Since the move, which happened three short months ago, we've been getting settled in and establishing a routine. In the midst of that, though, we had a large dinner party and had a few friends visit one at a time.

Even still, last week's events had me thinking about being proactive in establishing a new normal for our home life. We opened our home for a praise band to practice a couple of nights last week. We had a couple over for dinner at the house one night. My little buddy that I keep for a friend came over for a few hours for extra time with me and his mom stayed to visit with us afterward for a while. 

Having our house overflowing with people, enjoying their company, and serving their interests was fun. We were able to get to know them better and strengthen our connection outside of church activities. Dare I say it, true friendships extend beyond church walls.

This week, another friend-family will come over for dinner one night and we head out of town to see family on the weekend. It will be another full week since I'll be working with Matt everyday. I hope I have enough energy for it all!
 
As much as I enjoyed last week and look forward to this week, I'll have to wait and see whether or not the idea I've had for so long actually is ideal. This is Matt's refuge from the world and that takes priority. Ministering to him and his needs come first. I think, though I'm not sure, that this week stretched him and his social capacity to share home :) He only had one night without company or an activity, so who could blame him! 

He certainly didn't mind coming home to the boy...

 

Even though I emailed Matt a warning...

"Someone took your spot. Better come home quickly to take it back. ;)"

Admittedly, the busyness of this week was too much to be our new normal, but it was good as a reminder for me to plan more occasions for hospitality in our home. I'm hopeful that this is the work of the Lord to bring about something new, something good, something dreamed of long ago.

Answered Prayer

Knowing most of you who read this blog, I can be sure you know what's it's like to have a prayer answered. It is an amazing gift to pray for something specifically and see God answer that prayer, just for you.

Have you ever been the answer to someone else's prayer? Of course you have. I know you, so I know you have on more than one occasion. What struck me this week in a unique and unexpected way was hearing from someone else that I was the answer to her prayer.

It seemed unreal on my first night of Bible Study Fellowship to be in the newcomers class with a girl from my high school. She was two grades behind me, but we were acquainted those many years ago. Living a full 15 hour drive from my hometown, not only did I "run into" a girl from home, but someone who attended my high school, someone I remember!!

The second week of class, she mentioned in our introductory time in our small group that she and her husband had been praying she'd run into someone "familiar" to her at the Bible study. I couldn't help but smile. It made me feel good that seeing my familiar face and becoming reacquainted was her answer to prayer.

As a friend of mine would say...

People. Sometimes it's the little things that are big.

Fantastic Friday

Look who's hangin' out at my house this afternoon.

He played while I made lunch and figured out how to get by without a bib or highchair. He ate with a kitchen towel tied loosely around his neck (loosely enough that he pulled it off twice while attempting to chew on it), but it still worked great. He lounged on the couch to take his bottle, but decided he'd rather slide down, roll around playing with the pillow and cushion and push his feet against me as I read to him. He belly laughed, a lot. :)

When he let out a little fuss, I picked him up and held him a few minutes giving him his bottle back. He seemed to prefer a nap, but I didn't rush him upstairs because it was a little early and I wasn't convinced. I sat him up against the pillow, gave him his bottle and sat across the room to check a text from his momma. He took his bottle until he fell asleep, only a couple of minutes later. I must admit, that's always been a favored nap spot for me too. 

It's turning out to be a delightful Friday afternoon. 

BSF

When I was a kid, my mom attended Bible Study Fellowship and I went to the children's group. I distinctly remember walking into the church sanctuary for the first time (it was not the church we were members of and attended regularly). Several ladies were milling around toward the front of the sanctuary before it began. That image is the only one I remember even though Mom says we attended for four years, from when I was 4 to when I was 7 years old. I think that moment is fixed in my memory because I was nervous about going somewhere new and didn't know what to expect. Otherwise, I have a general memory of it being a good experience. 

As an adult, I joined Bellevue and became deeply involved in ministry there. Along the way, I remember a couple of people mentioning that many of the women teaching ladies' Sunday School classes came out of Bible Study Fellowship having led groups there first. Wanting to become a good teacher of women, I tucked that away not knowing much about how to get involved and being deeply invested at the church already. I later attended seminary and thought little more about it. 

When I first met Matt, I thought he was handsome, but didn't know much about his spiritual life. As we got to know one another, one of the things I learned about him was that he joined a Bible Study Fellowship group in Minnesota before he moved to Memphis. Reminded of my long-standing high opinion of BSF, I was glad he looked into joining a BSF group (finding they didn't have any for men) or something similar in Memphis. 

After moving to Baltimore, I looked online to see if there was a group here. Unfortunately, the closest group to where we lived at the time was more than an hour away. Not at all practical on a weeknight, particularly when adding traffic considerations. 

A few weeks ago, when Matt and I were out to dinner on a date night, he hesitatingly asked how I'd feel about him going to BSF one night a week. He said he knew that would take time away from us, but he found a group nearby and wanted to dig deeper in theWord. So, I gasped and refused to agree to such absurdity! Lol Rather, I was supportive and encouraged him to do it. ;) 

Looking online and finding a ladies group meeting at the same time at another church close to his, I sheepishly asked if he'd mind me joining him in BSF by going to my own group. Fortunately he thought that was a great idea ;) 

We have met with our respective groups twice now and are completeing our daily study of week 2 material. It's been really good so far. Matt is in a group of men nearer his age than most of our friends at church. He can already tell from his small group that these men are well-versed in Scripture and will have a lot to offer in sharpening him. Exactly what he hoped to find. 

The first night I became reacquainted with a girl I vaguely knew in high school at Briarcrest! She was two classes behind me then and her sister was a year ahead. We recognized one another right away (exchanging maiden names to make the connection) and ended up being assigned to the same small group. We also met the daughter of two Briarcrest graduates and hope to get to know her better as well. Since there were only 8 new people the first night, we were pretty amazed to find not only two other Memphis people new to the group, but Briarcrest people to boot! 

This year in BSF we're studying the book of Matthew. Even though we're in different groups, it's nice to know we're studying the same material. On our way home this week, Matt suggested we talk about what we glean from our person study on Monday nights.  I can't wait!! 

If you may be interested in joining one of their studies, BSF is available nation-wide and around the world. See if there is a group near you by googling Bible Study Fellowship and search for a group on their website. It's not too late to join this year!