Simple Beauty

As I think of what to write about our life, it keeps rolling through my mind that any one topic of singular focus could become droll. My personality is such that when I'm excited about something going on in my life, I can become incessant with it in conversation. Part of maturing is noticing weaknesses and working to be and do differently, even in something as simple as what to write about in a blog. 

These thoughts occurred to me as I was working around the house. You see, it is not uncommon for me to think of something I want to share and find myself working through it while I do chores. Literally, every day this week, I've written a new post in my head that never made it to the page. 

Today, I considered what fills my life. It is a very simple life. 

God 
Husband
Baby
Extended Family
Friends
Housewife-ing
Church
Crossfit
Cooking
Trying to establish a regular habit of reading (Reading is not my favorite. :)
Travel
Trying to establish healthier eating habits (Eating is my favorite ;)

My work (very, very part-time) with Matt has been on hold indefinitely, unfortunately. 
Time with Collin has been considerably reduced since I had Maddy as well. 

Going forward, my hope is that I will not weigh in too heavily on any particular topic. Maddy may appear more often than other topics simply for the fact that she is growing and changing SO quickly. (Matt and I were talking about a few of her "new things" today because it seems that every day brings one or more of them. We can't keep up!)

There was a time when I was younger that I would have had a hard time believing I'd find so much beauty in such a simple life. Nevertheless, my life is simply beautiful. Thank you, Lord! 

Communication is Key

One day last week, I knew right after feeding her that I needed to change Maddy's diaper. The hitch was that I was finishing up dinner and needed to add something to the pot and monitor it briefly. I told Maddy I'd be back in a little while to change her and asked her to play on her activity mat for a little bit. She did. Off I went to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, she made noises to get my attention and remind me she still needed that diaper change. Though she's only 5 1/2 months old, she prompts me from time to time if I can't get to it right away. I thanked her for reminding me and assured her I hadn't forgotten. :)

When she made her noises, I stopped what I was doing to tend to her. I had to get the changing pad situated, get the diaper and wipes out, etc. It didn't take long, only a few seconds, but when I laid her down to change her and pulled the diaper tabs, she let out a distressed whimper.

Immediately, I stopped what I was doing to look at her. I wanted to find out what was distressing her and I asked with a puzzled look, "You don't want me to change your diaper now?" and then asked, "Are you ok?" She kept gazing at me with the distressed look. That's when I decided to proceed slowly with changing her diaper. I leaned over to peak in the diaper and she was going. I closed the diaper in a flash. It was at that moment I realized she was warning me! She most certainly helped me avoid a mishap. 

Now you may understand why I claim that good communication is key to every relationship ;)

Singing and Narcissism

When I was younger, I loved to sing but I was shy. At one point, I even considered beginning vocal lessons with a lady at church. Don't misunderstand; my voice is decent, but not anything to write home about. My goal at that time was to learn the mechanics of singing and to improve my voice as much as possible. I wanted to sound the best I could sound, but there were no allusions of grandeur. 

Fast forward to today. I have a baby. She is very sweet. I love her and love spending time with her. What does she like? Music. Sounds. And a few other things I'll talk about later. So, what do I do? I sing to her, constantly. 

My problem with trying to sing to my daughter in the beginning was blatantly obvious. I have this mental inability to memorize song lyrics. Even songs I've heard for years, I apparently have only put parts of them to memory. How then am I able to sing constantly to my daughter? I make up songs on the fly. Laugh with me people. That is absurd. 

My poor baby. She has to listen to it, but somehow she loves it. My only explanation is that every song is about her. Here is "Our Song" created one night in the wee hours to calm her during her first few weeks of life: 

Mommy loves Maddy, 
Daddy loves Maddy, 
Maddy is our special girl. 

Mommy loves Maddy, 
Daddy loves Maddy, 
Maddy is our very special girl. 

Maddy is smart, 
Maddy is funny, 
Maddy is sweet, 
Just like honey. 

That's our girl. 
That's our girl. 

There's another verse that regularly includes Mamaw and Granddaddy, but other family members are worked into verses from time to time as well. 

Another roughly contrived song goes like this: 

Oh, Maddy. My Maddy. Ohhh, Maddy. 
Mama and Daddy love sweet Maddy. 

Oh, Maddy. Oh, Maddy. Sweeet Maddy.
You are our speeeecial one. 

Maddy. Oh, Maddy. Our sweet one. 
We have waited for you so long. 

Maddy. Oh, Maddy. We love you. 
We are glad you are fam-i-ly. 

That one is a bit rougher in my opinion because I don't have permanently set lyrics. I sing it to the same tune each time and make the second, fourth, sixth (even numbered lines) whatever comes to mind as I'm singing. 

Another of late is a take on "Oh My Darlin' Clementine." Typically, I sing it like this: 

Oh my darlin', Oh my darlin', 
Oh my darlin' Madeline (read Mad-dah-lynn...long and slow like we Southerners speak ;)
Mommy and Daddy love you. 
You are his; you are mine. 

I sing that one over and over a few times or change the last two lines. Needless to say, she knows her name. Let's hope I'm not slowly turning her to become narcissistic. 

Strictly out of necessity, I made up this beauty: 

Nap time. Nap time. We love nap time. 
Nap time helps us rest and sleep.

Nap time. Nap time. We love nap time. 
Nap time helps us feel good and strong. 

Nap time. Nap time. It is nap time. 
Maddy feels better when she wakes. 

Nap time. Nap time. It is nap time. 
Time to lay your head down and rest. 

It still needs a little work, but at least she's hearing that we love nap time. I hope the message helps her want to sleep when she needs it. 

More importantly, I hope working in more new songs like this that don't focus as much on her will counteract the narcissistic brainwashing the other songs have provoked. :)

Life Saver

During this season, basic household cleaning is taking a back seat to other priorities. When asked what I wanted for Christmas, I teased that I'd love a year of maid service. lol My MIL is waiting for me to give her a quote so she can gift me some maid service in 2015. I won't argue. :)

In the meantime, my arch-nemesis is our shower stall. For quite some time, I've seen posts by other women stating the virtues of a mixture of white vinegar, blue Dawn liquid detergent, and water.

I don't like chemical cleaners. Whenever I use them, I'm paranoid of accidentally bleaching the carpet or clothes. I'm paranoid about inhaling the vapors or having residue on my hands when I touch food, etc. That's probably one reason I neglect cleaning often enough. That's also one reason my hands are always dry, cracking and/or raw...when I do clean, I wash my hands compulsively. 

Even still, I'm skeptical that making household cleaners is always the best, most effective way to clean. So, when it came to trying this concoction, I kept it in the back of my mind but didn't do anything about it. Until a few days ago. 

I was thoroughly impressed with how quickly and easily it cleaned the white tile. Let me add here that a dream of mine is a bathroom renovation in the next couple of years. I want to get rid of those tiny white tiles. In the meantime, I'm happy to say I've found the dream cure for my enemy. You should try it. 

No More Decisions

When we had our baby girl,  I suddenly realized how many decisions I'd face daily in taking care of her, even from her first day of life. That was something I hadn't considered until she was here. 

Even as early as my third trimester, I was thinking ahead to the next baby. :) Beginning a bit later in life, we both feel there's no time to waste. Even so, I want time to stand still so I can enjoy and savor each day with this baby before another comes along. 

From one day to the next, I vacillate, wanting another baby as soon as the Lord will bless us with one and then wanting to dig my heels in to say no more babies. It's a strange thing to go through right now because I know each child God gives is a blessing, a gift, so why not welcome each and every one He will give as quickly as He will provide another? 

Then, I look at this sweet baby girl and selfishly, I want to keep our special little bond and tiny world here at home as long as possible. Another little one would draw my attention away and there's no doubt I'd begin missing things. I'm scattered enough as it is without another little one drawing me away. 

What helps me as my thoughts wander, thinking about what I want and what may happen in the future, it gives me peace to know the decision is not up to me. God always chooses when and to whom He will bring life. I can trust Him to bring another baby into our lives if and when it is for our good. In the meantime, I'm making the most of the days Maddy and I have together, undistracted. 

Her first snow!

Cast Off

Today is the day for Matt to have his cast removed. Yay! We find out for sure with another X-ray. 

Even though I'm a fan of the color (K-State purple), we welcome the next step: A splint. At least it is removable and indicates healing is happening. 

In the time since his injury, you can hardly tell it's slowed him down. At first, he asked me to do a hand full of things either because he hadn't figured out how to effectively manipulate to do it himself or it was just faster for me to help. Now, he does everything himself and seems to do so effortlessly. 

The biggest hindrance for him has been picking up and carrying Maddy. He's still made it a priority to get in quality time, even if I need to hand her to him on occasion or get her situated in a good position on him. 

This pic was taken when he was wearing his temporary cast. 

These days, Maddy likes to scratch everything. It may be my fault for letting her fingernails grow too long, but she likes to scratch everything nonetheless. She gave a look of astonishment when she tried scratching her Daddy's cast. I think to that point, his cast is the hardest thing she attempted to scratch and it surprised her. It is fun to watch her explore her little world. Let's see how she likes his splint...

A New Challenge or Two

This is definitely not a season in which I feel there's any "extra" time. It seems daunting to set goals and find time to do anything other than care for our daughter and barely partially keep up with the house. Yet, sometimes I find myself feeling inspired. 

There are many good things to do and I desire to keep a balance in life. It's something I keep coming back to over and over: to daily challenge myself spiritually, physically, and mentally. My spiritual challenge is to love God and love people well each day, spending quality time with them and serving them. 

My physical challenge has been walking up and down the stairs taking care of the baby and home. Sadly that's not enough. In a few short days I will join a gym. I attended two prep courses toward securing a membership and now it's time to get the ball rolling. 

My mental challenge has been trying to remember to add things to the grocery list and to remember...well...anything important. :) This year, I'm attempting to read books off my reading list. I think reading a little every night before bed will be a good routine for me, but also I hope to designate one night a week as reading night. Since we enjoy t.v. in this house, it would be a nice change to sit and read instead. (We have lots of books for the baby too.) 

This is one of the first books I hope to read: 

This one is for Maddy :)

I wish I could say this is all I have planned for my new daily challenges, but alas, I'm trying to start healthier eating habits too. After all, eating right is 80% of the battle. 

As time goes on, I hope to elaborate more on my plans and progress in these areas. No; these are not New Year's resolutions. I'm a compulsive reflector and evaluator.

At any time, the result of my self-reflection can be a new list of personal goals. My hope is that striving to meet these goals will help me maintain a proper balance in different areas of life. 

Reflections upon 2014

As much as I'd like to deny it, my 2014 was completely defined by eagerly anticipating the arrival of, giving birth to, and enjoying our baby girl. It was a year well-spent. 

I am utterly amazed by the wonder of this little girl. 

These are two of our first pictures of our baby girl. :)

God is magnificently intricate in the design of His creation. Much of my time is spent studying her as she learns and discovers and grows and expresses new aspects of her personality.

This experience has drastically changed my perspective in several ways. One of them is how I look at illness/disease. Formerly, I thought disease and illness of any significance or permanent consequence should be rare. My belief, whether a conscious thought or not, was that the norm for life is healthiness. 

As I gaze at my little girl and think of all her inward parts, it amazes me how on earth she could be healthy. It occurred to me only in motherhood that even her health and wholeness is miraculous. I always considered the beginning of life a miracle, but now it strikes me as a second miracle that everything in her formed properly. 

So far, I have not lost that sense of awe...it's still a daily occurrence that I see something about her that makes me revel in her presence and leads me to be so thankful for this precious gift God has given us. If you've ever asked me how she is doing, now you know why my answer is: "She is amazing."