A Sad State of Affairs

Culturally, it seems there are a couple of natural measuring rods for choosing a mate. One is watching the prospective spouse to see how he or she interacts with or responds to children. The other is watching how the prospective spouse interacts with or responds to dogs. 

Let me just say, it is a great thing that Matt had little time to observe me with dogs. :) I love children. If you asked me, I'd tell you I like dogs. This weekend revealed something different to me. 

This is what Matt looks like every time a dog is around: 

That's Banner with Matt at Uncle Paul and Aunt Molly's house

He stops and pays them attention immediately. He talks to them, gets closer to their level and gives them a nice hearty rub. I admit that I like seeing it. His tender heart shows through. 

I, on the other hand, withdraw from the dog and/or send him away. It is very clear to me that I don't want to be touched. No brushing of the legs with the dog's furry coat. No nuzzling of the wet nose in my hand or at my wrist. No paws on my stomach (yes, mostly these are big dogs). No licking of my legs or toes and certainly not my face. It's all bothersome to me.

Although I didn't grow up with pets and haven't had any in adulthood, I've always thought I'd enjoy having a dog especially after having children. Now, I'm questioning that. Why do I have this aversion to dogs? I think it's because they seem dirty to me. Funny, I know.

If I'm in workout clothes, I don't mind getting sweaty or dirty. If I'm dressed for work or an event; if I've just taken a shower and feel clean, the last thing I want is to feel dirty. When touched by a dog, I feel like I need another shower, a good hand washing or both. 

Over the weekend, we were asked about getting a dog more than once and I sounded way more open to it than Matt did. In fact, I told them (believing it completely) that we probably would get a black lab once we have a large yard. 

The second time we were asked, it became clear in conversation it was being offered as a good first step toward having children. That's definitely not a part of our plan. Our first step, Lord willing, will be having a baby. We may have a dog later when the children are a little older. 

It was the last time I mentioned with some confidence that we probably would have a dog once we have a large enough yard that Matt sweetly pulled me back. With an amused grin, he said something like, "We still need to talk about that some more." HA! 

After all of the times I pulled away from dogs over the weekend, he probably wondered what I was thinking. It seems clear by my actions/reactions that in my heart of hearts, I don't want a dog to enjoy for myself. It would be an annoyance and a lot of work that would not likely be worth it to me personally. Now, I realize I like the idea of having a dog for our children much more than I would actually like having a dog.

What a sad state of affairs for my dog loving husband. :-/