Winning Work

One of Matt's love languages is service. It's good for me that doing things for him makes him feel loved because that is certainly what most of my day is comprised of...making sure the house is clean, straight, organized; making sure he has breakfast, lunch and dinner; cleaning and ironing his clothes. I even make a point at night of turning down the bed and setting up his coffee to start automatically in the morning. He knows I do these things to express my love for him and he often acknowledges it as such.

Although I work hard to keep everything caught up, I still fall behind on occasion. When I think of how much time will go toward caring for our children one day, Lord willing, I get a little intimidated. Over these first few months of marriage, I've wondered, will Matt feel less loved, or even unloved, when the house isn't quite so squared away? For a while I even worried.

Service is not one of my love languages, so it's not natural for me to value the constant demand of cleaning, etc. I have to work at it and determine to stay on top of it.

In our premarital counseling, a common question in our booklet was to name 3 things we would like the other person to do in this or that area of our marriage. The idea was to set the bar low for the other person to make the goal attainable, so we were encouraged to pick the three most meaningful things. Thinking about that more after reading a Christian book on marriage, I asked Matt for three things he'd like me to do around the house that would make the most difference for him.

He immediately blurted out, "Make the bed!" It took him a while to choose two more and I honestly can't remember what they were. Based on his reaction many a night after coming home, I've added "Keep a pitcher of sweet tea in the frig."  

My goal is to do the things that mean the most to him every day no matter what. I think that will help him feel loved, help me not feel overwhelmed and hopefully help me avoid criticizing myself for not doing better.

After all, I am praying for God to fill these :) 

When He does, I'll need all the helpful tips and encouragement I can get.