The Belstra Chronicles: Five on Friday

A good friend often writes on her blog about five things on Fridays. As I celebrate my Mom's birthday from afar today, I want to mention five memories I have that make me so thankful for my mom. Here is the fabulous five, though it's only a drop in the bucket :)

1. I love the way she jumps in on the fun to play with the grandkids.

Riding a Razor Scooter with them.

Riding a swing on the swing set with Stephen.

The pictures don't come close to capturing the playful spirit I love seeing in her in these moments.

2. I love the way she shows her love through cooking us home cooked meals every night, both while we were growing up and now when Matt and I visit home. Just ask him and he'll tell you he looks forward to what Mom will put together to feed us when we're there ;) I wish I had a picture of the latest spread.

Even with the vastness of our eating potential, she out does us with food offerings. We never have enough time to partake of it all. When we were there for two weekends (with our cruise in between), we enjoyed banana pudding (weekend 1) and chocolate cake (weekend 2). Spoiled? Um, yeah.

3. I love her spunk. As I recall, we were not permitted to say "shut up" to anyone while we were growing up, but apparently she's mellowed in her young age. Occasionally, you'll hear her defend herself when picked on, by telling Dad, "Oh, shuuut up!" She says it playfully, of course :)

4. I love it when she zings people. My Dad is the sarcastic one. He's also the talker. My quiet little mama is usually listening to one of us or doing something for us, but every so often someone leaves an opening and she zings them good. The beauty of it is that none of us sees it coming and we end up bent over laughing, with our stomachs in stitches.

My niece took this pic, but I had to borrow it so you could see the mischievous look ;)

Recently, a new development in her sense of humor is subtle, but evident sarcasm. She's used it on me and on Tracey at least once. If you're not paying attention, you almost miss it. My response when she zinged me? I told Matt in shock, "I think my mom just duh-ed me!" It takes a special person to zing you by text. We all laughed with that one.

5. I love the way she shows her love by helping.

Mom feeding Zach.

On the latest trip to Memphis I told my mom of my new discovery about myself and my love language. I'm primarily a quality time person and a big affection person, but I was surprised to find that acts of service was almost equal to affection.

As I thought about it, reflecting on my past, I realized how encouraged I am when someone works alongside of me. I hate the isolation of chores and cleaning alone, but I love working for a good purpose alongside someone else. In fact, I think that's why I liked being a boss in ministry. I always tried to get my secretary involved in working on things with me. Even if we were in different rooms in the process, if we were working toward the same goals together, I felt good about it. Teamwork. A team effort.

After all of this time, I was able to explain why I was so terrible at doing chores she'd given growing up. I hated the isolation of it. At the same time, I was able to share one of my favorite and oft told memories of something my mom did that meant a great deal to me.

During my doctoral studies, weighed down with work, deadlines and more pressure than anyone should have pressing in, I stalled out. I had so much to do but had no idea where to start. My brain was muddled; I was overwhelmed. Mom offered to help, but I wasn't sure what she could do. She offered to come to my house and cook meals for me in advance..."to make life easier"...while I studied. I took her up on it.

Truth be told, I would have probably just bought something out rather than cook that week. Not much actual time was saved, though her food tasted much better and was healthier. What made the difference that I'll never forget?

My mom bought groceries, drove 45 minutes to my house, cooked in my kitchen on a Saturday for a few hours (quietly, I might add), in an attempt to help me, to lift a burden. She was there. When I needed her, she was there. She was such an encouragement that day. I was able to focus and work and meet my deadlines, because she came and worked alongside me. I didn't have much discretionary time in those days. I was always working or studying. She made a difference in a huge way and I'll never forget it.

This was only one time of many, but it is an occasion that spoke volumes. I was about 28 years old then and on my last leg after 3 long years of pouring all of my energy into work and school. That is the kind of mom I hope to be one day. A mom who helps, who supports, who's there.